


Of Bars and Grocery Stores

by SilverSprinklez10



Series: Of Soulmates and Different Worlds [2]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:01:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27365476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverSprinklez10/pseuds/SilverSprinklez10
Summary: A soulmate AU where people live different lives and remember those past lives. They and their soulmate always have the same name, but look different in each life. Most people have a soulmate. Usually, people find their soulmates and live together joyously until they die and meet again the in the next life.Toast doesn't understand why people hate him.
Relationships: Corpse Husband & Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF), Sykkuno/Jeremy Wang
Series: Of Soulmates and Different Worlds [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997710
Comments: 7
Kudos: 200





	Of Bars and Grocery Stores

**Author's Note:**

> For the first part of this series, I wasn't sure if Mature or Teen was the proper rating, so I played it safe. This part, however, is very firmly in Mature ranking. There are some topics in the story that may make people feel a bit uncomfortable. You have been warned.
> 
> With that said, welcome back to this AU. If you're here, I'm assuming you've read the first part. So hopefully the second part lives up to the expectations. Probably not, because fluff was requested, but hopefully you enjoy this anyways.
> 
> Turns out I get the Disguised Toast tag to work despite Ao3's hijinks, but I can't make Scarra's be not his real name. So that's fun.

Toast doesn't understand why people hate him.

As soon as people hear his name, they grow hostile. Not all people, just some. They talk about how he ruled over them cruelly. They talk about how his guards tormented them. They talk about how the Corpse couple took his kingdom down, and how the people rejoiced. The people weren't even mad when it was revealed the Corpse couple weren't soulmates at all, just two people without soulmates trying to fight against… Toast, apparently. They don't react well when Toast tells them he has no idea what they're talking about. He asks if they're thinking of another Toast. Each of them is certain they are not.

Toast wonders if he should make up another name to introduce himself as. But names are the only way he'll be able to find Sykkuno again. Their last life together was so peaceful. They lived under a monarchy that protected its people from all danger. The guards and people lived in harmony, which led to the best life Toast had ever experienced. Toast hopes that in one of his lives, he'll be able to provide other people the same peace those monarchs granted to him and Sykkuno.

But for now, Toast wanders this new world, looking for his Sykkuno. When Toast meets Sykkuno, he'll know that he's with the person who's been with him all of his lives. He'll finally get confirmation that he never became this dictator the others claim he has. If Toast had lived that life, surely he'd remember it. Everyone knows you remember every one of your past lives.

As soon as he meets Sykkuno again, everything will be better.

~~~~~

Toast is intrigued by the man who wastes his days away at the bar.

Toast only frequents the bar once in a while, but the others he talks to tell him the man frequents the bar every day. He always orders the same drink, pays his tab, and sits alone while refusing to talk to anyone. The patrons wonder why he acts this way. Some speculate his soulmate is dead in this lifetime. Others say that he works too hard and drinks to loosen up. The man never had bruises, so physical abuse is ruled out as an option, but verbal and mental abuse is not. But no one knows for certain why the man is the way that he is.

Toast tries to talk to the man every once in a while. The man never really responds. Toast's greetings are left with silence. Toast's questions are left unanswered. Toast idly talks about his day. The small things, like how he saw a butterfly while walking, or how a customer at the store he works at acted. Toast finds himself coming to the bar more often to talk with the man. After weeks of talking, Toast realises something. 

"I'm sorry," Toast says. "I never introduced myself. My name's Toast. Disguised Toast. I'd ask you for yours, but you never speak anyways."

The man turns towards him. "Toast? Dictator Toast?"

"So they say," Toast sighs. "Everyone says it. But I never lived that life."

The man is silent for a while. Toast thinks he's gone back to total silence when he speaks. "Tell me about your previous life."

And so Toast does. He tells the man about how he and Sykkuno lived in harmony. The two never worried about much and got to spend a lot of time together. They met all sorts of people back then. Valkyrae, Pooki, Abe, Leslie, Lily, Michael, Scarra, Wendy, Mashiyoshi, Edison. Toast doesn't remember ever feeling as happy as he did when he was with them. Except perhaps when he first met Sykkuno.

"That sounds like a nice life," the man says. "It sounds nothing like Dictator Toast. He went through unimaginable pain, you know?"

"What do you mean?" Toast asks.

The man doesn't answer. He doesn't talk to Toast again after that encounter. Toast tells the man stories anyways. He talks about this life and past lives. The visits become daily. Toast makes sure the man never overdoses on his drinks. Toast isn't sure why he is drawn to this man. But Toast has been curious over far stranger things before. Maybe Toast wants to find company other than people who look at him in disgust for something he didn't do.

Toast hopes his forced isolation from others won't drive him insane.

~~~~~

Toast works at a grocery store in this life.

It's a simple job. Management doesn't care about the rumors surrounding his name. Toast gets paid enough to live. Customers complain sometimes, but as long as Toast does his job, the manager doesn't care about how Toast may or may not have acted in a past life. His coworkers are a different story, but Toast chooses not to dwell on that.

Toast has worked at the store so long, he knows where everything is. Even managers come up and ask Toast where inventory is stocked. It makes sense because most of the other workers are part time. And Toast doesn't have the college degree required to become a manager. So the manager positions are filled with failed art, history, and literature majors who stick around because a manager position is the best they can find. And when they finally find something that fits their major, they leave the store behind.

Toast predicts he'll be at this store for the rest of this life.

~~~~~

Toast isn't sure what to think about the nighttime regular.

Toast had agreed to swap with a coworker on the night shift. So Toast is the lone person at the register working, waiting for anyone to arrive. He knows from this coworker that there's a nighttime regular who buys groceries and such. Toast hopes that this regular will show up so that Toast will have a break from all of the boredom. You can only mop a place so many times before it gets tedious.

And sure enough, after a while of idle waiting, a man walks into the store. He immediately goes into the aisles and Toast makes a game of trying to track him. The man looks like he knows the store layout as well as Toast does. He wanders around, picking out his items with an efficiency that customers in the daytime never have. After a couple of minutes, the man walks up to the checkout line, and upon looking at Toast and his nametag, stops in his tracks.

"Disguised Toast," the man says.

"Do I know you?" Toast asks. Toast has no idea if he knows this person or if this is someone else who's going to talk about the life he never lived.

"Well, kind of," the man replies. "It's… complicated. But if you're here..."

Toast waits a while, but the man never finishes his sentence. Toast awkwardly takes the guy's groceries and starts scanning them. Toast idly wonders why this guy hasn't called him a monster yet. Maybe they know each other from a life that Toast has actually lived through. The item selection is pretty standard: food, drinks, toiletries, basically the things essential for survival. Nothing unusual about this customer other than the time of day he shops.

"Have you seen Sykkuno?" the man asks. Toast stares blankly at the man. "I'm sorry, that's probably a rude thing to ask. I've been looking for him and haven't found him, but if you're here, then he has to be here too."

So Toast does know this person. Everyone who's been going on about the leader and guards stuff had no idea who Toast's soulmate was. Apparently, this Toast who ruled over them proclaimed proudly that one day his soulmate would rule by his side, but it never happened. Toast thought it ridiculous. If Toast was announcing where he was like everyone claimed he was, Sykkuno would have come to him. To suggest anything else was preposterous. But then again, none of them knew Sykkuno.

"I haven't," Toast says. "I'm still looking, though."

"I'm sure you'll find him soon," the man says. "That's what soulmates do."

The rest of the transaction passes with no more words between them other than the usual conversation between cashier and customer. Asking for money, giving change, the customer service 'Have a nice day'. The man walks out and Toast realises he never asked this guy for a name. Granted, the guy never asked him for a name. He just read Toast's name tag. And then talked to him as if nothing odd was at play. 

The rest of Toast's shift is uneventful. Toast wonders why the man didn't say more. Toast doesn't know where he knows this guy from. Toast doesn't know which lifetime he met this guy in. Toast doesn't know why this guy is looking for Sykkuno. There's so much Toast doesn't know about this man. After more thinking when Toast's shift is over, there's one question about this man that stands out from the others.

Why was this guy interested in Sykkuno but not him?

~~~~~

Toast is shocked to find out one of his coworkers has attempted suicide.

The managers refuse to tell the employees which person it was, but rumor is the employee in question is the one who usually takes the night shift. Toast doesn't question it. Other than the time Toast took over the shift months ago, contact between Toast and this coworker has been non-existent, and Toast likes to think he knows his other coworkers well enough that he'd pick up on suicide signs. Toast had spent a lifetime on a suicide hotline after something in Sykkuno's brain convinced him suicide was the answer to his problems. Since then, Toast hasn't had any problems with Sykkuno wanting his life to end.

The very upper management as a result wants to reassure the public that they are in fact taking care of their employees. So they make therapy sessions mandatory for all employees. The employees don't get paid to go to therapy, of course, but the company does pay for the therapist visits. It's a bandaid solution for everyone, intended to put the public's mind at ease. But Toast plans to keep working so he attends his mandatory sessions. 

Toast finds things to talk to the therapist about. He tells her about all the customers, good and bad, and how this job is his life right now. He tells her about his unsuccessful search for his soulmate and how he tries to keep on holding onto hope. He tells her about the man at the bar he still visits. He tells her about the other man he met during the night shift. How he knew who Toast was, but never gave a name. The therapist's prodding makes Toast wonder what that man was hiding from him.

He then talks about his other lives. He tells her about his previous peaceful life. And then he talks about his other lives with Sykkuno. Everything the two of them have had to go through, and how it has made them both stronger. It's cathartic to talk about everything, Toast finds. To have someone be there for him, even if she's being paid to do so. She's patient and asks him questions that allow him to reflect back on himself. She asks if his soulmate should get therapy sessions too after Toast tells her about Sykkuno's suicide. Toast sees her point and wishes he had thought of it sooner.

Then Toast tells her about the people who claim they've known him in a life he didn't live. The story of how he had supposedly ruled a kingdom that everyone hated. How he was overthrown by this Corpse couple. Who wasn't actually a couple. How he felt when people got angry that he didn't remember something they did. As he tells the story, the therapist doesn't interrupt. She just listens and takes notes.

"One of my old professors has a theory about this," she says. "About not being able to remember past lives, I mean. It's just a theory, of course, there's no evidence supporting it thus far other than case studies. I can get you in touch with him if you'd like."

Toast agrees, and so the therapist gives him the professor's contact information. 

~~~~~

Toast was not expecting the professor to be Scarra.

In Toast's previous life, if it even was his previous life, Scarra was more valued for his heart of gold than his mind. Toast never thought Scarra was dumb or anything, but Scarra was more focused on living in the moment than being an innovator when Toast last saw him. Toast had been the brainiac of the group in that life, and now he's working in a grocery store, so Scarra taking on an educator's role now is more of a sign of changing times and circumstances than anything. 

The phone call had been awkward. At first, Scarra thought that Toast had found him and just wanted to say hello. It took a couple of pleasantries to finally tell Scarra that his therapist referred Toast to him to talk about his gap in memory. From that point on, Scarra's responses became more somber as the two of them went over availability to book an appointment time. Along with that, Toast had agreed to let Scarra record the conversations between them for researching purposes. And now the time of the appointment is here, and Toast is at Scarra's lab.

The lab looks exactly like how you'd expect a Psychology lab to look like. Brain posters plastered on the walls, brain replicas in sight, neuron information on the walls, Psychology textbooks on the shelves. All the decorations are most likely for aesthetics rather than practicality, but maybe the decoration helps set the mood.

"Hey Toast," Scarra says. "It's been a few lifetimes since I saw you last."

"You were in my previous life," Toast says. "At least, the one I remember."

'You really don't remember ruling a kingdom at all?" Scarra asks.

"No," Toast says. "I don't."

"Okay," Scarra says. "Let's start by talking about what you've heard about the life you're missing."

And so Toast does. He tells Scarra what people have told him. About the kingdom and the knights and about the Corpse couple. At this point, Toast had anecdotes from almost every viewpoint. The civilians, the guards, the sorcerers, and the people who lived outside of the kingdom. Toast recounted it all.

"Have you heard anything else about this life?" Scarra asks. "Anything at all?"

Toast thinks about it. Most people have said the same thing Toast has told Scarra just now. The guy at the night shift all those months ago was strange, but he didn't say anything about Toast being a ruler of the land or anything like that. There were a couple of people who had claimed to be his knights, but he had also mentioned them to Scarra, although briefly. And then Toast remembers what the guy at the bar had said a long while ago when he last spoke.

"There's this guy at a bar I go to often," Toast says. "He usually doesn't speak, but he did mention once that Dictator Toast had suffered. Whatever that means."

"What do you know about this guy?" Scarra asks.

"Not much," Toast says. "He goes to the bar every day. I go and make sure he doesn't drink enough to kill himself. He's only talked to me the one time. That's it."

"Do you think you can… maybe convince him to talk about what he said?" Scarra asks. "I don't want to say too much about my theory because... I don't want to freak you out if it happens to be wrong, but part of my theory does has to do with you suffering."

That was a bit concerning. Scarra's theory had to do with Toast suffering? Does Scarra think Toast has repressed memories or something? Toast supposes the idea does make sense from a psychological standpoint. Repressed memories and how to deal with them is sometimes part of being a therapist, but Toast has never heard of repressed memories to the point that an entire lifetime is forgotten. Of course, there is a chance Scarra is wrong.

"I can ask," Toast says. "But I can't guarantee results."

Toast may not have an answer yet, but at least he has a plan.

~~~~~

The bar has never felt so ominous before.

Of course, Toast knows the bar itself hasn't changed. All of the decorations are the same. The staff are the same. Some of the people are different, but they usually are. The man Toast meets the bar, however, is a constant in Toast's life. The man, who with one exception, had always been silent. He must know all of Toast's stories by now. Toast takes a deep breath, and then walks up to the man.

"Hey," Toast says. "So, my therapist found some guy who has a theory about why I can't remember my kingdom ruler life. Turns out I knew the guy from a different life. Not the kingdom life, because I don't remember that one, but the one before. His name's Scarra. I've told you about Scarra. He's a psychologist now. It's pretty crazy, huh?"

No response from the man. Toast figured as much. Especially since he hasn't gotten to the point yet.

"Scarra hasn't told me his theory yet, but he said his theory involved me suffering. And I remember you said something like that a while ago. You know, the only time you've talked to me. He wants me to ask you what you meant by that. No one else has told me that before, or since. If you know something…"

Silence. The man puts his drink down and stares at it. Toast has never seen him do that before. Toast has no idea if he should say something or wait for some type of response. Toast has never seen him prioritize anything over drinking until now. It's different enough behavior that Toast decides to wait it out.

"Scarra's here?" the guy finally asks.

"Yes," Toast says. "Scarra's here."

More silence. The guy continues staring at his drink.

"I… I feel like I should have told you more sooner," the guy says. "But I'm a coward and you came back anyways, and I just wanted to hide from everything. But that's not fair to you."

"So you do know something?" Toast asks.

"You know," the man says. "It would be nice to see Scarra again. He's nice. I liked being around Scarra."

What?

"You know Scarra?" Toast asks.

"Two lifetimes ago," the man says. "But it's felt like more than that. Can we go see him now? I'd like that."

"Let me call him," Toast says. "I'll see what he says."

Toast calls Scarra. He relays the conversation between him and the man. Scarra is surprised to discover that the man claims to know him. But he agrees to meet up with them since their person with information seems willing to talk. The conversation ends and Toast takes the man from the bar and drives him to Scarra's lab. The man says nothing during the ride over, but Toast doesn't mind. Hopefully Scarra will get the man to talk about what he knows.

Hopefully Toast will find the answers he's looking for.

~~~~~ 

Toast wasn't expecting to see the night shift customer again.

Scarra had warned him that another psychologist is usually at the lab at night, and that psychologist would receive a notice that Scarra would be using the area. Toast just didn't expect it to be someone he's met before. And definitely not the guy who has left Toast with so many questions he didn't have the chance to get answered.

"You have business with Scarra?" the other psychologist says. "What part of your brain needs fixing, Toast?"

"Why do you care?" Toast asks. "I don't even know your name."

"True," the guy says. "Although I'm intrigued. I didn't think Scarra was studying anything to do with drunk people."

"I'm not," Scarra says as he walks in. "This 'drunk guy' is supposed to answer some questions, like what I'm studying and also which life does he know me from."

"Wait," the unknown psychologist says. "Is this... about your theory?"

"Yes…" Scarra says. "How did you guess that first out of all of my projects? Although, I guess you haven't seen many of my projects since you usually work with Valkyrae. I actually don't think I ever caught your name."

"You never asked," the guys says. "But you were always busy when we crossed paths, so I don't blame you. I'm Corpse Husband, by the way."

There is no way. Corpse Husband, as in the Corpse? One of the two people that formed the Corpse couple that took Toast's kingdom down? That Corpse? The man at the grocery store late at night who greeted Toast and asked about Sykkuno? Toast had never met Corpse in his other lives. Why is Corpse of all people looking for Sykkuno? Why didn't Corpse call him a monster that night? 

"Corpse?" the man from the bar says. "Is that you? You're here?"

Before anyone can react, the man runs up to Corpse Husband and hugs him tight.

"I don't know what I'm doing." The man cries into Corpse's shoulder. "I'm just wasting away, scared, because of what happened. What do I do, Corpse? What do I do?"

"Whoa, whoa," Corpse says. "Back up. Who are you?"

"It's me," the guy says. "It's me, Corpse Wife."

Wait, what? The other half of the Corpse couple… is an alcoholic. The guy Toast has saved from alcohol poisoning multiple times, the guy who always listened to Toast's stories, the guy who talked about how Dictator Toast had suffered is the guy who helped overthrow Toast's rule. Toast glances over at Scarra, and Scarra looks confused as well. Did Corpse Wife lie about knowing Scarra? Why would Corpse Wife do that?

"I don't understand," Scarra says. "You told Toast you knew me. I've never met a Corpse Wife before."

"Well," Corpse Wife says, covering his face with his hand. "Corpse Wife isn't my actual name. I just adopted the name to match Corpse, you know, since we spread the rumor of us being soulmates. And it's mostly what I went by in the past world, so…"

"Allow me to translate," Corpse Husband says. Corpse Wife stiffens, but doesn't interrupt Corpse Husband. He just stares at the floor while Corpse Husband continues talking. "Toast, Scarra, meet this world's Sykkuno."

Corpse Wife. Is Sykkuno? There's no way. They're the same… no. That doesn't make any sense. Why would Sykkuno…? This is the guy who earlier today said he was hiding from everything. Is this what he meant? Hiding from Toast, his own soulmate? 

Toast doesn't know if he can handle any more bombshells tonight.

~~~~~

Toast learns about the place he used to rule over.

He learns about the knights and their abuses. He learns about the sorcerers who taught him magic, and the one who rebelled. He learns about Sykkuno's opposition to the suffering on the streets. He learns about how Sykkuno and Corpse met. He learns about how Sykkuno and Corpse inspired a revolution. He learns about the invasion of his castle.

He learns about his fight with Sykkuno. He learns about he killed his soulmate in cold blood.

From there, Corpse takes over the story. Corpse talks about how Toast went insane after killing Sykkuno. According to Corpse, Toast had complained about constant excruciating pain. Toast was no longer able to rule over his land due to the pain he was going through, so the people ended up governing themselves. They formed militias so that neither knights nor outsiders could harass them ever again. Small democratic communities formed.

Corpse described taking care of Toast after the rebellion. He listened to Toast's crazed ranting about how he wanted Sykkuno right there by his side. Corpse has sat there listening to Toast asking why everything felt horrible. Asking what Corpse Wife had done to him. What he had done to deserve everything he felt. The most horrible experience he had ever felt in all of his lives. A pain worse than burning in lava, worse than his worst sickness.

"It's probably a good thing you don't remember," Corpse says. "They say killing your soulmate is the worst pain you can ever experience."

"That… fits my theory." Scarra says.

Toast blinks as he remembers about Scarra's presence here. He was so focused on Sykkuno's and Corpse's story that Scarra almost didn't matter. But Scarra has the story now. And now Toast is curious about Scarra's theory. After that story, Scarra is correct?

"Theory?" Sykkuno asks.

"There's stories of soulmates who have drifted apart," Scarra explains. "In one life, one soulmate kills the other, and in the next life, the soulmate who was killed would get angry with the soulmate who killed because the killer would claim that life never happened. Most people see the killers as horrible people when reading the story, but I wondered if the killer genuinely didn't remember the life that he killed in. That seems to be the case here."

And with that, the world learns more about the universe they live in.

**Author's Note:**

> That's the end of the second part. There may or may not be a third. If there is a third, I'll probably wait until I'm out of school for the semester to write it. Actually finishing two oneshots in the span of a couple of days is actually rare for me, and also I need to focus on my school work.


End file.
